Never Let Me Go
by Soonerwxgirl
Summary: The ocean's water will never let Mary go, nor will the love of friends and family. [A/N: Kleenex alert]


Author's Note: I do not own Reign, but the story is mine. Enjoy if you can! 'Tis a bit tragic. I highly recommend listening to 'Never Let Me Go' by Florence + the Machine while reading.

* * *

_Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine_

_{And the arms of the ocean are carrying me, _  
_And all this devotion was rushing over (out of) me, _  
_And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me, _  
_But the arms of the ocean, deliver me.}_

The water brushed over my hands like silk, caressing the edges before covering them like a blanket of shifting sand. In my moment of despair, jumping was far easier than I had anticipated. It was easy to take that first step over the edge, allowing gravity to do the rest. The wind whipped teasingly around my face, tossing my hair in all directions. I closed my eyes, enjoying those few moments of exhilaration as I plummeted.

Colliding with the surface initially awoke my innate response to flee, but this is what I wanted. To be ensconced within the salty water, drowning away my sorrows, my despair, and myself. I prayed to see the world slip away into darkness beneath the reflecting water of the ocean's tide. I needed peace within my heart, as there was no peace left in the physical world.

The lingering warmth of his arms quickly faded as the water soaked the heavy material of my dress, pulling me further down within the ocean's grasp. They had ripped him from my arms, dragging him down roughly down the hall. He screamed my name, fighting bravely against those who held him, and I watched, helplessly restrained, as he disappeared around the corner.

I fled immediately, my feet finding their way unaided to the ocean cliff. The smell of salt assaulted my senses, both from the misty ocean spray and from the barrage of my tears. The resounding canon blast effectively split my soul in two, as it signaled his life was gone. _Let the executioner have held a steady hand, _I thought, _and let it have been swift. _My heart severed with the blast of the canon, knowing, unequivocally, he was gone.

___{And it's over, and I'm going under_  
_But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in_}  


The water tickled my face and ears as my weight slowly began to settle. At least the water muffled the residual screaming. I knew his haunting scream would continue until my last breath. I am not giving up, but I am giving in. I am giving in to my grief.

I heard the armored footsteps follow me to the cliff, but my feet had moved before they could stop me. There was no easy path to the shoreline, and it would be too late by the time the guards finally made it down to the coast.

I am ready to hold my breath, and allow the folding tide to indefinitely sweep me under, but my mind holds on to one last memory.

_His arms support my back as I float on top of the pond. My eyes close instinctively, for the brightness of the sun causes tears in my eyes. But I am not afraid, for he is supporting me, as he always does. My arm wraps protectively around his waist, my fingers tracing lightly across the small of his back. I turn my head so I can open my eyes enough to see his face, eyes alight with joy. We stay like that for several minutes, staring into each others eyes before he finally speaks._

_"What did I ever do to deserve you?" His words were whispered, but I heard every one clearly. These words were not new to my ears, as he asked them frequently, almost reverently. He never needed an answer to this question, for he knew of my love for him. I only smiled and giggled._

_Then his arms disappeared from my back and I shrieked, abruptly slipping under the water. A rush of air hit my face as I was pulled upward, and held tightly against his chest. He was laughing heartily. I slapped his arm in mock indignation and he only laughed harder.  
_

_"You scared me, Bash." I admonished teasingly, playfully kissing his lips._

_"I did not think that was possible." He teased in return, hugging me to him. His expression changed from jovial to serious as he leaned forward, gently kissing the tip of my nose. "Do you not know my arms will always be here to support you. They will never let you go."_

No, of course they would never let me go, not until someone wrenched them from around me. Just as screams haunted my mind, I could not rid my eyes of the sight of his face, of his eyes, as they pulled him from me. He knew he was being dragged to his death, taken from me forever. Everything and everyone I ever loved had been taken from me. The world was a cruel, cruel place.

My mother had died while I still needed her guiding hand in most aspects of my life. I lost my Francis before we had a true chance to live as a couple. I lost one child before they were even born, and I have not seen my precious son since he was a year old. How Francis had convinced me to allow his mother to be Regent over young Henry, I will never know.

And then Sebastian. My dear sweet Bash. He had picked up the pieces of my broken heart, placing the pieces of my heart together as only he could. The pieces could not all be replaced, for I was emotionally bruised and damaged, but he took great care to mend me as only he could. My heart had learned to love again, when I thought, after Francis, it never could.

Now, I would be joining my loves in eternity, by my own choice and no own else's, least of all my cousin.

I only hesitated for a moment before opening my mouth in a strangled cry. So much pain and so much guilt came pouring out from my soul.

"I am so sorry, Francis. So sorry, Bash." I cried. Sighing, I let myself completely release my last hold on fear, feeling the water caress my cheeks, my lips, and my eyes. It was peaceful, really. The last rays of sun shimmered as a prism from under the ripples of the ocean.

_God, keep and bless my dear son, _I thought.

As I said my blessing, I made my personal peace with my Maker. Knowing what I will see on the other side, it is simple to close my eyes to this world, succumbing to the cold darkness of the ocean's depth.

_{In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,  
And all this devotion I never knew it all  
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner released,  
But the arms of the ocean delivered me.}_

Warmth like the sunshine wrapped around me, and I felt the burden and weight of my royal existence lift as if it were a fog, clearing on a bright Spring morning. My eyes fluttered open, seeing only Sebastian's beautiful face a mere inches from mine, knowing the warmth I felt was not the sun, but his arms protectively encasing me. I rested my forehead on his, drinking in the woodsy scent he trailed everywhere. I hear him whisper my name, as if a prayer carried gently by the wind. My hands cradle his face as he smiled radiantly at me, all war-time blemishes gone from his features.

I hear my name again, and turn to see my blond-haired prince, approach, as radiant as the first day I came back to the French court. I felt no loss of warmth as Bash's arms left and Francis held me. From beyond his shoulders, my eyes glimpsed a hint of blond hair, and a flowing yellow dress.

_Aylee._

"Oh Mary, welcome home." She whispered, smiling as the sun as she walked up to me, taking me hands in hers. The pain, the guilt, and the horror of the physical world had been vanquished. I felt no fear nor hatred. The warmth of love, and friendship, and family surrounded me.

"My brave daughter." My mother's words floated around me, her essence filling the space between us.

As Sebastian wrapped his arms around me from behind, I sank happily back into his chest. I reached one hand for Francis, pulling him close. The other stretched for Aylee's hand, hearing her laughter as she joined the gathering. My mother loving stroked my hair, just like she did in a time long past.

"I am home. Finally." I whispered, joy filling my heart and soul.

_{But the arms of the ocean delivered me}_


End file.
